Monday, July 21, 2014

The "Her Story"

While I've been married a solid 5 weeks I have felt as though I wanted to write up an actual account of our story from my side... and a few other additives. I'm not sure anyone will ever get "His Story" but that's okay. I think he secretly likes the way I dramatize everything about us.

Meet P. Reagan Nickels

Once upon a time,

February of 2013 the month where "All my dreams came true" But to be honest it started a little before that.
I've been skilled at "Facebook stalking" for many years. but one fortunate day in December of 2012 I saw 15 of my friends adding a guy from Provo UT. I was curious if it was someone I had met before but after giving this "Nickels" guy a full comb through of photos and posts I decided I didn't know him at all. I did note that he was handsome, and then carried on my way. A month and a half later I was standing very un suspecting in the halls of my church and around the corner bobbed the cutest bald man I ever did see, I flashed back and realized this was the guy I took special time months earlier to sufficiently stalk. In that moment in my mind I pointed at him and said "mine".

For the weeks that followed my mind was loosely obsessed with placing myself at the right parties and church events in order to be near him enough to ensure we had time to get to know one another. I was fine if my "mine" only ever amounted to friendship but I knew that he would be special to me in some way or another...

Now the other important part of that equation was getting Reagan to be equally interested in me or even slightly interested... Really even just a sideways glance would have been nice.

from Reagan however: Nothing.

Not a thing. He knew my name but that was about the extent of it. Really just the most irritating situation there ever was. I had become accustom to being well known and well liked and I really just think the world of myself so how on earth did this guy not feel drawn to me like I was to him? Meh. That didn't stop me.

Over the course of the final two weeks leading up to that fateful February 16th night I was putting in double the work and double the effort. What before was merely an interest became a full on dedication. I smothered him with my attention and all but demanded that he would be my sidekick at most social events.

I have always been the suffer in silence type when it came to men I was interested in. This was a completely different side of myself. I had never met her before and was terrified and intrigued as to who she could become. I was forward about my affections for the first time in my life with out an ounce of interest being shown from the opposite side. I had never felt more brave and scared in my life.
and then it happened. I made my final move. One evening I physically latched onto this man and never let him leave my side... I would like to say "and he's never left since" but that's not the case.

Once I had him I didn't know what to do with him. This was crazy! Reagan worked out of town 50% of the time which made it worst. I was petrified of this guy that I had spent weeks and weeks obsessing over. When I finally had him and had to spend time with him trying to engage him in conversation and attempt to participate in doing things that we both had in common. The problem was, it seemed we had absolutely NOTHING in common.

Loves to dance. LOVE.
Cooking, anything and everything. must spend at least 8 hours in the kitchen on my feet per week to feel accomplished
Enjoys getting out and doing physical activities (Frisbee, swimming, hiking, night hiking especially...)

Doesn't dance what so ever. EVER.
No more then 5 min spent in the kitchen preparing a meal per day.

 Over the next couple months I would go through bouts of freaking out trying to figure out what on earth I was thinking getting involved with this man I barely knew, and then just adoring how cute he was but questioning everything about him. He still didn't gush about how adorable I was. I didn't get it. (My dad say's that exactly why he's perfect for you). These bouts were consistent with him being in town and being gone. It was like clock work I would "break it off" Wednesday night while he was preparing to leave for a week. A week later he would return I would meet up with him to be a nice friend because he was new in town and then BAM I liked him again. Whiplash... except Reagan was a trooper and knew just to go with the flow so the whiplash didn't hurt as much. He really has the patience of a thousand Queens Guards.

Eventually my emotional roller coaster slowed, as it began to just coast I put down a whole lot of walls I didn't know I had built up. We had nothing in common, that was true. But being around him still just made me feel good. He was a good person and we were enjoying making new memories with one another, and I was beginning to notice that although he was lacking in a lot of ways that I graded highly on. He had other talents gifts and interests that I had never even thought to take an interest in. Then the day hit where he expressed the one thing I never thought I would ever hear a man say, "The Secret Garden  is my favorite musical" WHAAAAAT????? I grew up loving, no obsessing over the story of Mary and her secret garden! This story has always been a treasure to me. That was it. we had to get married now. It was just a matter of finishing falling in love on my end. (Reagan got there a whole lot quicker then I did.)

I think the one thing that scared me the most was that I KNEW we would be married some day. and I was begging to understand why. This man although flawed as everyone is, has a heart that is purely set on being with those he is around. He never worried about the group as a whole liking him. He only ever needed to be engaged, truly engaged with one other person. And that is a beautiful way to be. He LOVES every person he comes into contact with instantly and wants to discover their story and constantly has them in his mind. The amount of times he brings up a "supporting character" in our story, a loved one, whether it be a great old friend or a mere acquaintance, is astounding to me. He just loves.

Finally there came a day when I was ready. ready to begin planning OUR life together. Reagan was glad to have me on board. Because  like I said Reagan was much quicker at getting to those points then I was. but it was probably because he's so wonderful. and he just patiently awaited my arrival.

And they lived.... Happily in a tin can as caretakers of a 13 acre park... ( No but really we live in a park its pretty cool)

Oh the wedding?? it was wonderful! full of friends and family who traveled near and far. Phenomenal food, and DANCING!! yes dancing. Reagan Danced with me. I loved it!

Spent time preparing with Women who are so special to me! My Gabe came as a trooper and left her husband on their 6 month mark! I'll  love him for ever for allowing that! With her by my side, along with countless others Chloe, Amy, Danielle, My AWSOME sisters.and sister in laws... oh yeah my brothers too, Parents... you get the picture! the whole thing would not have even been possible with out them.

I loved getting to meet and know a little better my new family. I will admit the transition between Brown and Nickels has been a lot harder on me emotionally then I originally thought. But Reagan's been a doll through it all. And the Nickels are such a delight I just can't wait to get to know them all that much better.

There are too many pictures to give an in detail story on but just know first off our Honey moon was AWSOME! Didn't have a dang thing planned, stayed in an orchard where we got to eat fresh oranges and grapefruit every morning for breakfast! it was AMAZING!


  1. I love this!!! Every single thing about it! SOOOO happy I got to be there and be a part of it all :) (Mark is too).